{"id":1984,"date":"2014-10-04T17:37:29","date_gmt":"2014-10-04T16:37:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fjala.info\/?p=1984"},"modified":"2014-10-04T17:37:29","modified_gmt":"2014-10-04T16:37:29","slug":"dashuria-si-imitim-i-religjionit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fjala.info\/2009-2015\/dashuria-si-imitim-i-religjionit\/","title":{"rendered":"Dashuria si imitim i religjionit"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\" Nga Markus G\u00fcnther<\/strong> m\u00eb 04\/10\/2014<\/em><\/p>\n

Her\u00ebt a von\u00eb, gjat\u00eb shkollimit t\u00eb tyre, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt marrin njohurit\u00eb e nevojshme mbi format imituese t\u00eb religjioneve. Kjo u ndihmon atyre jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr ta kuptuar m\u00eb mir\u00eb bot\u00ebn dhe fuqit\u00eb e padukshme q\u00eb veprojn\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb, por edhe p\u00ebr ta forcuar rezistenc\u00ebn e tyre ndaj doktrinave t\u00eb rrezikshme t\u00eb shp\u00ebtimit. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt m\u00ebsojn\u00eb se \u201cyjet\u201d televiziv\u00eb e mediatik\u00eb nuk duhen hyjnizuar, aq m\u00eb pak udh\u00ebheq\u00ebsit politik\u00eb, m\u00ebsojn\u00eb se tifozll\u00ebku p\u00ebr futbollin mund t\u00eb fitoj\u00eb cil\u00ebsi religjioze e po kaq religjioze mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhet edhe d\u00ebshira maniakale p\u00ebr par\u00e0, karrier\u00eb e st\u00ebrvitje fizike. Sa keq, q\u00eb forma m\u00eb e fuqishme imituese e religjionit, me pasoja, eventualisht, katastrofike n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e m\u00ebvonshme t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, nuk p\u00ebrmendet aspak: DASHURIA<\/strong>. M\u00eb sakt\u00eb: ajo lloj dashurie, pa t\u00eb cil\u00ebn nuk ka asnj\u00eb k\u00ebng\u00eb pop e asnj\u00eb film, dashuria e madhe romantike, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn dy njer\u00ebz ia premtojn\u00eb nj\u00ebri tjetrit deri n\u00eb vdekje, ajo dashuri q\u00eb i b\u00ebn njer\u00ebzit t\u2019u \u201cik\u00eb truri\u201d, ajo dashuri, e cila i b\u00ebn njer\u00ebzit t\u00eb besojn\u00eb se me t\u00eb do jen\u00eb p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsisht t\u00eb lumtur.<\/p>\n

Asgj\u00eb dhe askush, as Qiell e as Zot, nuk rrezaton aq fort n\u00eb epok\u00ebn ton\u00eb sa miti i dashuris\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb Ylli ndri\u00e7ues i epok\u00ebs son\u00eb. P\u00ebrball\u00eb atij individualizmit t\u00eb pretenduar koh\u00eb pas kohe, p\u00ebrball\u00eb asaj larmis\u00eb s\u00eb medemekshme t\u00eb stileve t\u00eb jetes\u00ebs, q\u00ebndron nj\u00eb projekt global jetik: rruga drejt lumturis\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb bashkimi pasionant i dy njer\u00ebzve. Q\u00ebllimi i vet\u00ebm i jet\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb gjesh zotin ose zonj\u00ebn E Duhur dhe pastaj gjith\u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb rregull (e n\u00ebse jo, at\u00ebher\u00eb mund t\u00eb fillohet dhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb nga e para).<\/p>\n

Tek miti i dashuris\u00eb imitohen t\u00eb gjitha kriteret e nj\u00eb religjioni<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb aspak e ekzagjeruar t\u00eb pohosh se dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb imituese perfekte e religjionit. P\u00ebrkundrazi, ky konstatim \u00ebsht\u00eb rezultat i nj\u00eb v\u00ebzhgimi t\u00eb es\u00ebllt. Miti i dashuris\u00eb i p\u00ebrmbush pa p\u00ebrjashtim t\u00eb gjitha kriteret e nj\u00eb pseudoreligjioni: kjo fuqi e lart\u00eb k\u00ebrkon p\u00ebrkushtim e p\u00ebrulje dhe, n\u00eb shk\u00ebmbim, premton shp\u00ebtim dhe \u00e7lirim. Ajo nuk toleron Zota t\u00eb tjer\u00eb, premton Qiellin (e shtat\u00eb) dhe t\u00eb nd\u00ebshkon me Ferrin e vetmis\u00eb. Dit\u00ebt e saj m\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7mueshme festive jan\u00eb Sh\u00ebn Valentini, Dita e Martes\u00ebs, Dit\u00eblindja. Kush nuk i nderon sa duhet k\u00ebto Dit\u00eb t\u00eb Shenjta, nd\u00ebshkohet me refuzim dashurie e afeksioni. Lutjet e saj baz\u00eb: T\u00eb dua, t\u00eb d\u00ebshiroj, je unik, je gjith\u00e7ka p\u00ebr mua, \u00e7mendem pas teje. Ritualet e sa t\u00eb shenjta: puthjet me gjuh\u00eb, seksi. Shenja sakrale: zemra e kuqe. Ikonat: fotot e t\u00eb dyve. Altari, vendi i \u00e7lirimit: krevati. Himnet: k\u00ebng\u00ebt tona. Shkrimi i shenjt\u00eb: let\u00ebrk\u00ebmbimi yn\u00eb dashuror dhe \u00e7do citat q\u00eb hyjnizon dashurin\u00eb, q\u00eb nga Elton John e deri tek Apostull Pali.<\/p>\n

E pamundur ta injorosh karakterin religjioz t\u00eb kultit \u201cdashuri\u201d. Zemra si simbol i dashuris\u00eb n\u00eb bot\u00ebn per\u00ebndimore \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb prezente se kryqi. N\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e banesave, pik\u00ebrisht atje ku dikur vareshin simbolet fetare, kryqi, Madona etj, sot varen foto t\u00eb lidhjes dashurore n\u00eb variacione t\u00eb panum\u00ebrta, foto t\u00eb NE TE DYVE, foto t\u00eb LUMTURISE SONE, foto q\u00eb ul\u00ebrijn\u00eb mesazhin: \u201cNe duhemi, jemi t\u00eb lumtur, ia kemi dal\u00eb!\u201d. Dhe pran\u00eb fotove, t\u00eb adhuruara si relike, q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb suveniret e udh\u00ebtimit ton\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb n\u00eb muajin e mjaltit, dhurata e par\u00eb q\u00eb ai i bleu asaj dhe anasjelltas. Shum\u00eb dhoma gjumi ngjajn\u00eb me oda t\u00eb shenjta, t\u00eb mbushura cep m\u00eb cep me foto intime, po aq dominante sa ikonat e nj\u00eb kishe ortodokse. Dhe kur kjo dashuri finalizohet m\u00eb n\u00eb fund si nj\u00eb martes\u00eb e bardh\u00eb, fotot e m\u00ebdha t\u00eb dasm\u00ebs kthehen n\u00eb objekte kulti, t\u00eb cilat vendosen t\u00eb parat n\u00eb at\u00eb list\u00ebn imagjinare t\u00eb gj\u00ebrave p\u00ebr t\u2019u shp\u00ebtuar n\u00eb rast t\u00eb nj\u00eb zjarri t\u00eb mundsh\u00ebm n\u00eb banes\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Sot, shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz e p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb transhendenc\u00ebn vet\u00ebm kur ndjehen t\u00eb dashuruar. Jo rast\u00ebsisht kjo ndjenj\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruhet prej atyre q\u00eb e provojn\u00eb si gjendje transi: \u201cndjehem si mbi re\u201d, \u201csi n\u00eb \u00ebnd\u00ebrr\u201d dhe si reinkarnacion: \u201cndjehem si i rilindur\u201d. E kush mund ta kund\u00ebrshtoj\u00eb seriozisht faktin se aktualisht dashuria romantike \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo forc\u00eb e mbinatyrshme q\u00eb premton \u00e7lirimin e shpirtit? Mbetet kund\u00ebrpyetja: e \u00e7\u00eb pastaj? A nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb bukur, kur n\u00eb altarin e epok\u00ebs moderne nuk q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb kombe apo udh\u00ebheq\u00ebs, nuk q\u00ebndrojn\u00eb doktrina absurde e qesharake shp\u00ebtimi, por thjesht dashuria? \u00c7\u2019t\u00eb keqe ka n\u00ebse njer\u00ebzit e k\u00ebrkojn\u00eb lumturin\u00eb tek partneriteti? A nuk na ndihmon \u00ebndrra e dashuris\u00eb p\u00ebr ta kap\u00ebrcyer egocentrizmin e p\u00ebrjetsh\u00ebm, a nuk na ndihmon t\u00eb themi TI, n\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u00eb themi si gjithmon\u00eb UNE? M\u00eb mir\u00eb DASHURI TOTALE se LUFTE TOTALE, apo jo?<\/p>\n

Zhg\u00ebnjim, konfuzion, ki\u00e7<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00c7do psikolog apo terapist me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb e di krejt mir\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb shkretimit shpirt\u00ebror l\u00eb nga pas dashuria idhujtare. Shpresa e shp\u00ebtimit nuk mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbushet p\u00ebrmes dashuris\u00eb. Shp\u00ebtimi, d.m.th. \u00e7lirimi i njeriut nga prangat e conditio humana<\/em>, nuk mund t\u00eb realizohet p\u00ebrmes nj\u00eb njeriu tjet\u00ebr. Kush premton p\u00ebrmes dashuris\u00eb qiellin n\u00eb tok\u00eb, ka gjas\u00eb t\u2019ia b\u00ebj\u00eb jet\u00ebn ferr, vetes dhe tjetrit. Pritshm\u00ebrit\u00eb e shumta, t\u00eb ngritura n\u00eb rang religjioz, i lodhin t\u00eb dashuruarit dhe u kthehen n\u00eb zhg\u00ebnjime t\u00eb hidhura. Fluturimi i ndjenjave pasohet nga nj\u00eb rr\u00ebzim i sert\u00eb zhurm\u00ebmadh. At\u00eb, q\u00eb deri dje e shihnim me adhurim dhe e ngrinim n\u00eb qiell si t\u00eb pakrahasuesh\u00ebm, na rezulton, me kalimin e koh\u00ebs, si nj\u00eb person tekanjoz. Dit\u00ebt e kaluara me t\u00eb kthehen n\u00eb nj\u00eb ushtrim durimi me ulje-ngritje emocionale. \u00cbsht\u00eb thjesht \u00e7\u00ebshtje kohe derisa arrin t\u00eb njoh\u00ebsh an\u00ebt acaruese e d\u00ebshp\u00ebruese t\u00eb partnerit. Dashuria nuk pranon asgj\u00eb njer\u00ebzore dhe, me koh\u00eb, ajo humbet s\u00eb qeni ndjenj\u00eb dhe kthehet n\u00eb detyr\u00eb.<\/p>\n

\u201cDashuria romantike \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb g\u00ebnjesht\u00ebr e keqe\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMiti i dashuris\u00eb romantike \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb g\u00ebnjesht\u00ebr e keqe\u201d, shkruan psikiatri amerikan M. Scott Peck. \u201cSi psikiat\u00ebr m\u00eb dhemb zemra, kur shoh \u00e7do dit\u00eb, se \u00e7\u2019shkat\u00ebrrim e vuajtje sjell ky mit\u201d. Shum\u00eb pacient\u00eb, thot\u00eb Peck, nuk arrijn\u00eb ta p\u00ebrballojn\u00eb dot zhg\u00ebnjimin q\u00eb u jep fakti se ajo dashuria e madhe e filmave t\u00eb Hollivudit, nuk ekziston n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e tyre: \u201cMiliona njer\u00ebz shpenzojn\u00eb energji pafund n\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekjet e kota p\u00ebr ta harmonizuar realitetin e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre me mitin joreal t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb\u201d.<\/p>\n

Ide t\u00eb tilla nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb reja. Erih Fromi paralajm\u00ebronte q\u00eb n\u00eb vitin 1956 nga \u201cpseudodashuria\u201d dhe pasojat e saj fatale: \u201cduke qen\u00eb se, si rregull, askush nuk mund t\u2019i p\u00ebrmbush\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb gjat\u00eb pritshm\u00ebrit\u00eb e nj\u00eb dashurie idhujtare, zhg\u00ebnjimet jan\u00eb t\u00eb pashmangshme. Prandaj k\u00ebrkohet,nganj\u00ebher\u00eb pafund\u00ebsisht, nj\u00eb idhull i ri p\u00ebr ta kompensuar dhimbjen\u201d. Fromi kishte parasysh filmat e Hollivudit t\u00eb viteve \u201850 dhe viktimat e para t\u00eb kultit modern t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb. Gjysm\u00eb shekulli m\u00eb von\u00eb, miti i dashuris\u00eb, i ndezur nga nj\u00eb industri e pafr\u00e8 zbavitjeje, \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrhapur n\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb globin. Shifrat e divorceve rriten, monogamia seriale \u00ebsht\u00eb kthyer n\u00eb norm\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs. Dashuria ka dat\u00eb skadence. Problemi \u00ebsht\u00eb se vuajtja psikike nuk fillon aspak me d\u00ebshtimin e asaj dashurie, e cila lindi shpres\u00ebplot\u00eb. Ajo fillon koh\u00eb para lidhjes s\u00eb par\u00eb. Q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00eb t\u00eb njom\u00eb, f\u00ebmij\u00ebve u ngulitet n\u00eb tru se kuptimi i jet\u00ebs lidhet me t\u00eb r\u00ebnit n\u00eb dashuri. T\u00eb shumt\u00eb jan\u00eb librat p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb mosh\u00ebs s\u00eb kopshtit, q\u00eb shpjegojn\u00eb se \u201cfluturat n\u00eb bark\u201d jan\u00eb shenj\u00eb e dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb par\u00eb dhe nj\u00eb s\u00ebmbim n\u00eb zem\u00ebr tregon se ke r\u00ebn\u00eb keqas n\u00eb dashuri. Bile ka psikolog\u00eb si Andreas Engel, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt jan\u00eb t\u00eb mendimit se kopshti \u00ebsht\u00eb vendi i duhur p\u00ebr dashurin\u00eb e par\u00eb romantike: \u201cf\u00ebmij\u00ebt mund t\u00eb bien tamam n\u00eb dashuri. Ky fakt duhet pranuar pa kushte\u201d. Si \u00e7do religjion, edhe dashuria ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr profet\u00eb dhe predikues.<\/p>\n

Gj\u00ebja m\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme n\u00eb jet\u00eb: t\u00eb gjesh t\u00eb duhurin!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Atij\/asaj q\u00eb i ka kaluar fatkeq\u00ebsisht mosha f\u00ebmij\u00ebnore pa p\u00ebrjetuar ato \u201cfluturat n\u00eb bark\u201d, do ta kuptoj\u00eb deri nga fundi i shkoll\u00ebs tet\u00ebvje\u00e7are se \u00e7far\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme n\u00eb jet\u00eb: t\u00eb gjesh t\u00eb duhurin! Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e pazakont\u00eb q\u00eb 10 apo 12 vje\u00e7ar\u00eb, t\u00eb ulur n\u00eb tryeza t\u00eb rriturish, t\u00eb pyeten prej tyre: \u201cpa h\u00eb, ke gjetur tashm\u00eb ndonj\u00eb t\u00eb dashur?\u201dN\u00ebna shpejton t\u2019i vij\u00eb n\u00eb ndihm\u00eb djalit t\u00eb sikletosur duke th\u00ebn\u00eb: \u201cka dhe pak koh\u00eb\u201d. Nga kjo bised\u00eb banale, djaloshi merr dy mesazhe t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme: 1. Pa nj\u00eb t\u00eb dashur, njeriu \u00ebsht\u00eb inferior dhe i paplot\u00ebsuar dhe 2. Koha ik\u00ebn shpejt.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kuptim pra, tragjika e kultit t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb nuk buron ekskluzivisht nga pritshm\u00ebrit\u00eb e parealizueshme, me t\u00eb cilat mbarset \u00e7do lidhje. Jo! Tragjika fillon q\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrpara, me k\u00ebrkimin energjik, nganj\u00ebher\u00eb histerik, t\u00eb lidhjes dashurore: \u201ck\u00ebrkimi i partnerit n\u00eb kultur\u00ebn ton\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb ngjitur n\u00eb stadin e nj\u00eb religjioni\u201d \u2013 thot\u00eb filozofja Katharina Ohana. \u201cky k\u00ebrkim obsesiv i partnerit (sidomos p\u00ebr grat\u00eb) i paraprin atij t\u00eb suksesit. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb kthyer n\u00eb kuptimin e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs dhe lumturis\u00eb.\u201d Ky perceptim filozofik konfirmohet edhe nga t\u00eb dh\u00ebnat e sondazheve. N\u00eb fillim t\u00eb k\u00ebtij shekulli shumica e gjermaneve i p\u00ebrgjigjet pyetjes se cili \u00ebsht\u00eb kuptimi i jet\u00ebs duke th\u00ebn\u00eb: \u201clumturia\u201d. Duke e detajuar pyetjen, se \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb lumtur, n\u00eb vend t\u00eb par\u00eb renditen p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb tipit: \u201cdashuria, partneriteti\u201d. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt, familja, miqt\u00eb, profesioni dhe suksesi vijn\u00eb m\u00eb pas.<\/p>\n

Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u habitur nj\u00eb rezultat i till\u00eb po t\u00eb kesh parasysh faktin se kultura pop nuk njeh tem\u00eb tjet\u00ebr ve\u00e7 asaj t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb romantike. N\u00ebse p\u00ebr nj\u00eb dit\u00eb t\u00eb vetme, do hiqnim nga radiot \u00e7do love song, n\u00ebse nga reklamat dhe filmat do hiqnim imazhet e t\u00eb dashuruarve q\u00eb bien n\u00eb krah\u00ebt e nj\u00ebri-tjetrit, radiot do heshtnin dhe ekranet do err\u00ebsoheshin. Edhe filmat policor\u00eb, filmat p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb, komedit\u00eb apo emisionet e gatimit nuk l\u00ebn\u00eb pa futur ndonj\u00eb p\u00ebrzierje dashurore brenda tyre. Albumi i suksessh\u00ebm muzikor i grupit gjerman \u201cFrida Gold\u201d p\u00ebrmbledh n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb koncize at\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb e din\u00eb prej koh\u00ebsh: \u201cLove is my religion\u201d. Dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb feja ime.<\/p>\n

Trupi si kapital vendimtar<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rrjedha e pandalshme e reklamave t\u00eb industris\u00eb zbavit\u00ebse, e cila e bombardon publikun 24 or\u00eb n\u00eb dit\u00eb me mesazhe dashurie, rrall\u00ebher\u00eb e paraqet dashurin\u00eb si nj\u00eb duet t\u00eb p\u00ebrditsh\u00ebm, rrall\u00ebher\u00eb t\u00eb dashuruarit paraqiten si shok\u00eb jete. Me dashuria e reklam\u00ebs e n\u00ebnkupton dashurin\u00eb p\u00ebrher\u00eb si p\u00ebrvet\u00ebsim erotik, nd\u00ebrsa realitetin si platform\u00eb e konkurrenc\u00ebs mes partner\u00ebsh potencial\u00eb. Dhe natyrisht: fituesin e k\u00ebsaj gare e pret dashuria e madhe.<\/p>\n

Vet\u00ebkuptohet se n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast doktrina e shp\u00ebtimit e k\u00ebtij Zoti me emrin \u201cdashuri\u201d kap\u00ebrthehet me interesa biznesi, pasi t\u00eb shumt\u00eb jan\u00eb ata q\u00eb fitojn\u00eb nga amplifikimi i nevojsh\u00ebm i cil\u00ebsive konkurrenciale t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb loj\u00eb, trupi p\u00ebrb\u00ebn kapitalin vendimtar. Ai duhet t\u00eb mbahet n\u00eb form\u00eb me dieta, st\u00ebrvitje, makiazhe, depilim, pa p\u00ebrjashtuar edhe kirurgjin\u00eb plastike. Po, tekefundja, a nuk ia ka vlejtur p\u00ebrpjekja, n\u00ebse i gjith\u00eb ky investim t\u00eb ka ndihmuar ta gjesh dashurin\u00eb e madhe? Pse mos ta ndihmojm\u00eb paksa rast\u00ebsin\u00eb me disa nd\u00ebrhyrje nga jasht\u00eb? K\u00ebshtu argumentojn\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ata q\u00eb ofrojn\u00eb sh\u00ebrbime n\u00eb favor t\u00eb mbajtjes s\u00eb trupit n\u00eb form\u00eb apo nd\u00ebrmjet\u00ebsojn\u00eb gjetjen e partner\u00ebve. Mesazhet q\u00eb i jepen publikut jan\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast t\u00eb dyfishta dhe kontradiktore: nga nj\u00ebra an\u00eb, dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb mbinjer\u00ebzore e mbitok\u00ebsore, shk\u00ebndija hyjnore n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e njeriut, por nga ana tjet\u00ebr, ajo duhet planifikuar, rruga drejt lumturis\u00eb u duhet l\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dor\u00eb profesionist\u00ebve, q\u00eb nga zmadhimi i gjoksit e deri tek sigurimi i takimeve mes partner\u00ebve. Rritja e jasht\u00ebzakonshme e nd\u00ebrmjet\u00ebsimeve on-line, tregon se organizmi gati-gati industrial i k\u00ebtij biznesi \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb lul\u00ebzim t\u00eb plot\u00eb.<\/p>\n

E gjitha kjo ka shum\u00eb pak t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me realitetin e p\u00ebrditsh\u00ebm. Ajo pjes\u00eb e realitetit q\u00eb nuk i p\u00ebrshtatet imazhit, mbetet jasht\u00eb reklamave, filmave dhe k\u00ebng\u00ebve. \u201cDritat fiken, para se t\u00eb fillojn\u00eb historit\u00eb me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt problematik\u00eb, me vdekjen e prind\u00ebrve, me papun\u00ebsin\u00eb, me rrudhat, me degradimin e trupit. Mir\u00ebpo jeta jon\u00eb \u2013 sidomos pas mosh\u00ebs 40 \u2013 p\u00ebrb\u00ebhet kryesisht nga k\u00ebto probleme. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb moment s\u2019ka m\u00eb pik\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsie se \u00e7far\u00eb fustan nus\u00ebrie ke veshur dikur\u201d, \u2013 thot\u00eb filozofja Ohana.<\/p>\n

Nj\u00eb religjion me d\u00ebme t\u00eb shumta an\u00ebsore<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pjes\u00eb e d\u00ebmeve an\u00ebsore t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb si form\u00eb imituese e religjionit jan\u00eb ata njer\u00ebz t\u00eb shumt\u00eb q\u00eb jan\u00eb vet\u00ebm. Jeta e tyre perceptohet si jet\u00eb defi\u00e7itare. Mendohet gjithmon\u00eb se ka di\u00e7ka q\u00eb nuk shkon me jet\u00ebn apo me karakterin e tyre. Konsiderohet e pakuptueshme se si dikush paska zgjedhur me d\u00ebshir\u00eb t\u00eb ndjek\u00eb nj\u00eb rrug\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshme nga rruga drejt partneritetit. T\u00eb mos gjesh partnerin e duhur konsiderohet si d\u00ebshtim personal. Njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb till\u00eb u duhet t\u00eb presin n\u00eb rastin m\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb keqardhjen m\u00ebshiruese t\u00eb ambientit ku jetojn\u00eb. Reagimi i kund\u00ebrt ndodh ndaj atyre q\u00eb thon\u00eb se, n\u00eb veprimet e tyre, udh\u00ebhiqen nga dashuria dhe se ndjekin thjesht at\u00eb q\u00eb u thot\u00eb zemra. T\u00eb till\u00eb njer\u00ebz kan\u00eb mir\u00ebkuptimin e gjithkujt, edhe pse n\u00eb em\u00ebr t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb tyre, mund t\u00eb shkat\u00ebrrohen familje t\u00eb t\u00ebra, si n\u00eb rastet kur nj\u00eb burr\u00eb braktis gruan p\u00ebr nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb re apo kur martohet p\u00ebr t\u00eb pest\u00ebn her\u00eb. Kush i falet dashuris\u00eb, i \u00ebsht\u00eb falur nj\u00eb fuqie supreme. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb kontekst, \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb dometh\u00ebn\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb rasti i profesorit p\u00ebr teologji morale nga Augsburgu, Klaus Arntz. N\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 21-vje\u00e7are teksa mbante mesh\u00ebn si prift katolik, deklaroi se kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri me nj\u00eb grua t\u00eb martuar me dy f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe se p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye do e braktiste detyr\u00ebn e shenjt\u00eb. Deklarata e tij nuk e tronditi aspak komunitetin fetar, p\u00ebrkundrazi u prit me ovacione t\u00eb m\u00ebdha. Kush i dedikohet Zotit \u201cdashuri\u201d ka gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb! Pse u martua 28-vje\u00e7arja Meharit Kifle me milionerin 90- vje\u00e7ar Bruno Schubert? \u00c7far\u00eb e hodhi 56-vje\u00e7arin Ole von Beust n\u00eb krah\u00ebt e gjimnazistes 18 vje\u00e7are? Pse e sakrifikoi karrier\u00ebn e tij politike kryetari i CDU s\u00eb landit Schleswig Holstein p\u00ebr hir t\u00eb nj\u00eb 16-vje\u00e7areje? Sigurisht: Love, Love, Love!<\/p>\n

Kush e kritikon kultin e dashuris\u00eb, konsiderohet si teknokrat i pashpirt<\/strong><\/p>\n

Kush kritikon fen\u00eb e ka t\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb. Kush e ngre z\u00ebrin kund\u00ebr kultit thuajse religjioz t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb, i ka pun\u00ebt keq. Ose konsiderohet si teknokrat i pashpirt, aspak romantik, pa ndjenja, ose presupozohet se, ngaq\u00eb nuk ka arritur t\u00eb gjej\u00eb t\u00eb Duhur\u00ebn, ushqen zili ndaj raporteve t\u00eb lumtura dashurore t\u00eb personave p\u00ebrreth. Kush matet t\u00eb thot\u00eb se dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka ndryshe nga ajo dashuria ki\u00e7 e n\u00eb eksitim t\u00eb vazhduesh\u00ebm q\u00eb p\u00ebrcjell kultura pop, konsiderohet si apostull moralizues. Ose p\u00ebrballet me pyetjen nj\u00ebqind-milion\u00ebshe: \u201ca mos vall\u00eb nuk besoni tek dashuria e madhe?\u201d Si\u00e7 shihet, pra, edhe dashuria \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7\u00ebshtje besimi!<\/p>\n

Tek kritik\u00ebt e religjionit \u201cdashuri\u201d b\u00ebn pjes\u00eb Christiane R\u00f6singer, e cila ka shkruar tekste k\u00ebng\u00ebsh dhe m\u00eb pas edhe nj\u00eb lib\u00ebr mbi mbivler\u00ebsimin e dashuris\u00eb romantike. Ajo \u00e7ka shkruan Roesinger \u00ebsht\u00eb, n\u00eb fakt, e r\u00ebndomt\u00eb, porse n\u00eb rrethanat aktuale, ting\u00ebllon gati revolucionare: \u201cdashuria paraqitet si kuptim dh\u00ebn\u00ebsja sublime e jet\u00ebs dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebn ta besosh shp\u00ebtimin p\u00ebrmes \u00e7ift\u00ebzimit. Ajo t\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb besosh se mund t\u00eb t\u00eb ofroj\u00eb furnizimin baz\u00eb emocional. Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb ideologjia q\u00eb q\u00ebndron pas ides\u00eb s\u00eb \u00e7iftit, e cila b\u00ebn q\u00eb n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka t\u00eb sillet e mb\u00ebshtillet rreth \u00e7iftit dhe krijon t\u00eb vetmin status social q\u00eb vlen n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb shoq\u00ebri: t\u00eb jesh pjes\u00eb e nj\u00eb \u00e7ifti.<\/p>\n

Hyjnizimi i Tjetrit\u2026 dhe i Vetvetes<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mbetet akoma e hapur nj\u00eb pyetje: a nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i dobish\u00ebm ky miti i dashuris\u00eb t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn p\u00ebr ta nxjerr\u00eb njeriun nga egoizmi i tij? A nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb d\u00ebshira e zjarrt\u00eb p\u00ebr partneritet gjithsesi m\u00eb e mir\u00eb se egoizmi? P\u00ebrgjigja \u00ebsht\u00eb: kjo lloj dashurie \u00ebsht\u00eb ve\u00e7se n\u00eb dukje nj\u00eb kap\u00ebrcim i kufijve vetjak\u00eb. N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb vazhdim t\u00eb egoizmit me mjete t\u00eb tjera. Sepse, p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb t\u00eb sinqert\u00eb, forca q\u00eb shtyn p\u00ebrpara nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe aq d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb dashuruar, sesa d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u2019u dashuruar. Hyjnizimi i Tjetrit ec\u00ebn dora-dor\u00ebs me hyjnizimin e vetvetes, e cila k\u00ebrkon pa pushim t\u00eb kujdeset dhe ta ruaj\u00eb vler\u00ebn e saj n\u00eb treg. Objekti i suksessh\u00ebm i dashuris\u00eb sime konfirmon edhe madh\u00ebshtin\u00eb time; dashuria jon\u00eb e lumtur, e ekspozuar ndaj t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, nuk p\u00ebrk\u00ebdhel ask\u00ebnd m\u00eb shum\u00eb se veten time. Si\u00e7 shkruan Erih Fromi: \u201cdashuria erotike \u00ebsht\u00eb forma m\u00eb mashtruese e dashuris\u00eb. Kjo lloj dashurie \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb realitet thjesht egoiz\u00ebm n\u00eb \u00e7ift\u201d. E k\u00ebshtu, sipas Fromit, nuk realizohet dot kap\u00ebrcimi i narcizmit personal, kushti m\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm paraprak p\u00ebr t\u00eb mund t\u00eb dashur nj\u00eb njeri tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n

*P\u00ebrktheu: Gilman Bakalli<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nga Markus G\u00fcnther m\u00eb 04\/10\/2014 Her\u00ebt a von\u00eb, gjat\u00eb shkollimit t\u00eb tyre, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt marrin njohurit\u00eb e nevojshme mbi format imituese t\u00eb religjioneve. Kjo u ndihmon atyre jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr ta kuptuar m\u00eb mir\u00eb bot\u00ebn dhe fuqit\u00eb e padukshme q\u00eb veprojn\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb, por edhe p\u00ebr ta forcuar rezistenc\u00ebn e tyre ndaj doktrinave t\u00eb rrezikshme t\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nDashuria si imitim i religjionit - FjALA e LIR\u00cb - Arkivi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fjala.info\/2009-2015\/dashuria-si-imitim-i-religjionit\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sq_AL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dashuria si imitim i religjionit - FjALA e LIR\u00cb - Arkivi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nga Markus G\u00fcnther m\u00eb 04\/10\/2014 Her\u00ebt a von\u00eb, gjat\u00eb shkollimit t\u00eb tyre, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt marrin njohurit\u00eb e nevojshme mbi format imituese t\u00eb religjioneve. 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