{"id":11463,"date":"2011-11-16T08:46:08","date_gmt":"2011-11-16T07:46:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/fjala.shkoder.net\/?p=180"},"modified":"2011-11-16T08:46:08","modified_gmt":"2011-11-16T07:46:08","slug":"feja-enver-hoxha-dhe-nje-histori-familjare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/fjala.info\/2009-2015\/feja-enver-hoxha-dhe-nje-histori-familjare\/","title":{"rendered":"Feja, Enver Hoxha dhe nj\u00eb histori familjare"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\" Nga Besnik Mustafaj<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ende s\u2019i kisha mbushur n\u00ebnt\u00eb vjet, kur regjimi i koh\u00ebs, i quajturi pushtet i popullit, e shpalli zyrtarisht Shqip\u00ebrin\u00eb vend ateist dhe ndaloi me ligj \u00e7do form\u00eb t\u00eb ushtrimit t\u00eb fes\u00eb. Besimi n\u00eb Zot u p\u00ebrcaktua si \u201copium p\u00ebr popullin\u201d dhe u shpall armik komb\u00ebtar. Kishat dhe xhamit\u00eb u rrafshuan, librat fetar\u00eb u dogj\u00ebn, klerik\u00ebt, ata q\u00eb shp\u00ebtuan nga burgu, u vesh\u00ebn me kominoshe e me \u00e7izme dhe u d\u00ebrguan t\u00eb punonin n\u00eb ferma e n\u00eb uzina, t\u00eb fitonin buk\u00ebn e goj\u00ebs. N\u00eb kodin penal u shtuan nenet, me d\u00ebnime deri n\u00eb dhjet\u00eb vjet burg p\u00ebr k\u00ebdo, q\u00eb b\u00ebnte kryq apo t\u00eb binte n\u00eb gjunj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u falur qoft\u00eb edhe brenda sht\u00ebpis\u00eb s\u00eb tij.<\/p>\n

M\u00eb kujtohet heshtja q\u00eb sundonte n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ton\u00eb n\u00eb Tropoj\u00eb tek sa gjyshi d\u00ebgjonte n\u00eb radio lajmet. Gjith\u00eb populli, sipas radios, rinia sidomos, por edhe grat\u00eb, burrat, pleqt\u00eb ishin ngritur n\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00eb me pishtar\u00eb n\u00eb dor\u00eb t\u00eb digjnin err\u00ebsir\u00ebn rob\u00ebruese, me t\u00eb cil\u00ebn feja e kishte mbushur trurin e njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb paditur p\u00ebr shekuj e shekuj me radh\u00eb. Kjo sh\u00ebnonte fundin e pakthyesh\u00ebm t\u00eb s\u00eb kaluar\u00ebs. Un\u00eb nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb isha i mbushur plot me nj\u00eb ndjesi t\u00eb p\u00ebrzier turpi dhe sikleti, por q\u00eb nuk guxoja ta shprehja n\u00eb sy t\u00eb gjysh\u00ebrve dhe t\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs. T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen, n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb, m\u00ebsuesja do i pyeste nj\u00eb nga nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt n\u00ebse ishin bashkuar me prind\u00ebrit gjat\u00eb shembjes s\u00eb xhamis\u00eb, gjat\u00eb djegies s\u00eb rasos s\u00eb priftit apo gjat\u00eb rrafshimit t\u00eb varrezave t\u00eb qytetit, ku deri dje, t\u00eb gjall\u00ebt e pagdhendur u kishin v\u00ebn\u00eb te koka t\u00eb vdekurve kryqe apo gjysm\u00ebh\u00ebna t\u00eb gdhendura n\u00eb gur apo t\u00eb derdhura n\u00eb all\u00e7i.<\/p>\n

Mua m\u00eb vinte, qysh nj\u00eb dit\u00eb para, turp kur t\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen do t\u00eb isha i detyruar t\u00eb pohoja faqe gjith\u00eb klas\u00ebs se gjyshi, gjyshja ashtu si edhe n\u00ebna ime nuk ishin bashkangjitur me gjith\u00eb popullin p\u00ebr t\u00eb \u00e7uar n\u00eb vend fjal\u00ebn ndri\u00e7uese t\u00eb Partis\u00eb. P\u00ebr babain nuk kisha \u00e7\u2019thoja. Ai dilte si zakonisht nga sht\u00ebpia ndaj t\u00eb gdhir\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb shkuar n\u00eb pun\u00eb e kthehej n\u00eb mbr\u00ebmje von\u00eb, pasi mua m\u00eb kishte z\u00ebn\u00eb gjumi. Un\u00eb e dija se \u00e7\u2019po ndodhte gjithandej tashm\u00eb, ani pse n\u00ebna, me t\u2019u kthyer nga shkolla, nuk m\u00eb lejonte m\u00eb t\u00eb vija k\u00ebmb\u00ebn jasht\u00eb pragut t\u00eb oborrit.<\/p>\n

E dija nga radio dhe kaq do t\u00eb m\u00eb kishte mjaftuar p\u00ebr ta treguar gjer\u00eb e gjat\u00eb euforin\u00eb e p\u00ebrditshme t\u00eb asaj p\u00ebrmbysjeje t\u00eb pashembullt n\u00eb historin\u00eb e Shqip\u00ebris\u00eb. Por do t\u00eb vinte \u00e7asti kur m\u00ebsuesja do t\u00eb m\u00eb pyeste konkretisht se n\u00eb cil\u00ebn ngjarje kishin marr\u00eb pjes\u00eb t\u00eb djeshmen vet\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e mi. Cilit hoxh\u00eb ja kishin rruar mjekr\u00ebn n\u00eb mes t\u00eb lagjes, n\u00ebn yshtjet gazmore t\u00eb turm\u00ebs revolucionare? Aty do t\u00eb skuqesha e do t\u00eb m\u00eb mbulonin djers\u00ebt e turpit. Isha i sigurt\u00eb se gjyshi, gjyshja dhe n\u00ebna ime kishin q\u00ebndruar mbyllur n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, a thua se i fshiheshin nj\u00eb murtaje. Dhe jo vet\u00ebm kishin q\u00ebndruar mbyllur n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, por edhe nj\u00ebri me tjetrin ishin marr\u00eb vesh m\u00eb shum\u00eb me shenja se me fjal\u00eb, gj\u00eb q\u00eb nuk m\u00eb kishte ndihmuar mua as t\u00eb kuptoja disi se \u00e7far\u00eb mendonin ata. Shpresa e vetme p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb nxjerr\u00eb nga sikleti mbetej babai, p\u00ebr dit\u00ebn e t\u00eb cilit nuk dija asgj\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Ai vazhdonte zakonin e vet t\u00eb daljes n\u00eb agim e t\u00eb kthimit af\u00ebr mesnat\u00ebs. Por, edhe kur q\u00ebllonte, n\u00eb t\u00eb rrall\u00eb, t\u00eb kthehej pak m\u00eb her\u00ebt, dhe b\u00ebhej k\u00ebshtu pjes\u00eb e dark\u00ebs familjare, ai nuk \u00e7elte kurr\u00eb biseda rreth dit\u00ebs s\u00eb tij t\u00eb pun\u00ebs. Por as gjysh\u00ebrit, ashtu si n\u00ebna ime, t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn faqe ne, f\u00ebmij\u00ebve nuk e pyesnin. Ky ishte nj\u00eb rregull q\u00eb zbatohej me rrept\u00ebsi t\u00eb plot\u00eb. N\u00eb nj\u00eb nga k\u00ebto mbr\u00ebmje, un\u00eb nuk e p\u00ebrmbajta dot ankthin dhe, i mbushur me nj\u00eb guxim t\u00eb papritur, e pyeta se ku po e zhvillonte ai betej\u00ebn e vet. Babai, i vetmi i shkolluar n\u00eb familjen ton\u00eb, madje i shkolluar n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb, do t\u00eb duhej ta mir\u00ebkuptonte hallin tim. Ende pa e mbaruar pyetjen, babai m\u00eb p\u00ebrfshiu me nj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrim t\u00eb \u00e7oroditur.<\/p>\n

– Cil\u00ebn betej\u00eb?- Kishte sakaq nj\u00eb z\u00eb t\u00eb acaruar, por q\u00eb un\u00eb nuk desha ta vija re. Duhej t\u2019i tregoja se dija edhe un\u00eb t\u00eb isha i vendosur.<\/p>\n

– Betej\u00ebn kund\u00ebr fes\u00eb, si\u00e7 po b\u00ebn mbar\u00eb populli yn\u00eb p\u00ebrparimtar.<\/p>\n

– Nuk jan\u00eb pun\u00eb p\u00ebr ty k\u00ebto,- ma preu shkurt. \u2013 Ti je ende i vog\u00ebl. D\u00ebgjove? Nuk jan\u00eb pun\u00eb p\u00ebr ty k\u00ebto. \u2013 Un\u00eb mbeta pa goj\u00eb. Babai nuk ishte treguar kurr\u00eb kaq i paduruar me mua. Edhe kur nuk i p\u00eblqenin nd\u00ebrhyrjet e mia, ai prap\u00eb e gjente fjal\u00ebn e duhur p\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00eb sqaruar dhe nuk e humbiste but\u00ebsin\u00eb. K\u00ebsaj here ai u b\u00eb krejt tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n

Si nuk ishin pun\u00eb p\u00ebr mua k\u00ebto? P\u00ebrndryshe pse m\u00ebsuesja na pyeste me aq holl\u00ebsi? K\u00ebto dhe shum\u00eb pyetje t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb ngjashme m\u00eb v\u00ebrshuan miz\u00ebri n\u00eb kok\u00eb, por q\u00eb nuk b\u00ebhej m\u00eb fjal\u00eb t\u2019i shtroja. Babai jo vet\u00ebm m\u00eb kishte hequr guximin me ashp\u00ebrsin\u00eb e vet t\u00eb panjohur, por edhe m\u00eb kishte tronditur shum\u00eb. Ai kishte nj\u00eb autoritet t\u00eb till\u00eb mbi mua, sa edhe duke m\u00eb folur me but\u00ebsin\u00eb e zakonshme, un\u00eb do t\u00eb ndjehesha thell\u00eb-thell\u00eb i detyruar t\u00eb besoja se ajo q\u00eb po ndodhte nuk ishte v\u00ebrtet pun\u00eb p\u00ebr mua e se m\u00ebsuesja gabonte q\u00eb na p\u00ebrziente ne, f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb histori t\u00eb ngat\u00ebrruar. Ky babai tjet\u00ebr, q\u00eb po zbuloja, v\u00ebrtet ma mbylli goj\u00ebn me ashp\u00ebrsin\u00eb e vet t\u00eb huaj, por edhe m\u00eb zgjoi nj\u00eb inat t\u00eb fuqish\u00ebm kund\u00ebr atyre q\u00eb m\u00eb kishin b\u00ebr\u00eb kok\u00ebn, inat q\u00eb un\u00eb, sigurisht, do t\u00eb duhej ta mbaja p\u00ebrbrenda si nj\u00eb zjarr t\u00eb pashuar. U ndjeva i dob\u00ebt, i braktisur. Nuk kisha m\u00eb kujt t\u2019i k\u00ebrkoja ndihm\u00eb. Ku do i fshihja t\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen djers\u00ebt e ftohta, kur t\u00eb pohoja para gjith\u00eb klas\u00ebs se prind\u00ebrit e mi i kishin b\u00ebr\u00eb bisht detyr\u00ebs historike?<\/p>\n

Edhe ashtu, duke zier nga inati, e dija megjithat\u00eb q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebnte zemra t\u00eb shisja prind\u00ebrit e mi para t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve dhe vet\u00ebm do t\u00eb heshtja me syt\u00eb ulur, duke e ndjer\u00eb fund e krye fytyr\u00ebn t\u00eb m\u00eb digjte nga turpi. Por m\u00ebsuesja nuk do t\u00eb ndjente pik\u00eb m\u00ebshire p\u00ebr mua. Edhe pa pohimin tim ajo do e merrte me mend \u00e7\u2019po ndodhte dhe do t\u00eb m\u00eb drejtohej, duke m\u00eb tundur gishtin, q\u00eb ta shihnin t\u00eb gjith\u00eb shok\u00ebt, se prind\u00ebrit e mi ishin dezertor\u00eb ndaj detyr\u00ebs s\u00eb madhe t\u00eb revolucionit. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb shum\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00eb, do e ngrinte ajo z\u00ebrin edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb.<\/p>\n

E kupton ti sa e r\u00ebnd\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kjo? Dometh\u00ebn\u00eb se m\u00eb takonte mua n\u00eb vazhdim t\u00eb b\u00ebja detyr\u00ebn time, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thoshte se duhej t\u00eb shpjegoja p\u00ebrse ata i kishin b\u00ebr\u00eb bisht detyr\u00ebs revolucionare. Kjo ishte m\u00eb e tmerrshmja: Nuk pranohej t\u00eb ishe i sinqert\u00eb. Un\u00eb mund ta kisha kap\u00ebrcyer pyetjen e saj me nj\u00eb mbledhje t\u00eb supeve. Mund edhe t\u00eb b\u00eblb\u00ebzoja n\u00ebp\u00ebr dh\u00ebmb\u00eb duke u betuar se nuk e dija \u00e7\u2019i mbante prind\u00ebrit e mi larg asaj stuhie. Por jo, m\u00ebsuesja doemos q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqej me p\u00ebrgjigjen time. Ajo do t\u00eb m\u00eb urdh\u00ebronte k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuesh\u00ebm t\u00eb tregohesha i sinqert\u00eb. Bijt\u00eb e Partis\u00eb, do t\u00eb m\u00eb sk\u00ebrmitej m\u00ebsuesja, e hapin zemr\u00ebn para shok\u00ebve.Apojo? Do t\u00eb k\u00ebrkonte ajo mb\u00ebshtetjen e klas\u00ebs. Un\u00eb do t\u00eb d\u00ebgjoja nj\u00eb \u201cpo\u201d bubullim\u00eb, q\u00eb do b\u00ebnte edhe muret e shkoll\u00ebs t\u00eb dridheshin.<\/p>\n

Sinqeriteti q\u00eb m\u00eb k\u00ebrkohej n\u00eb shpjegimin e sjelljes s\u00eb prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi, sipas m\u00ebsueses time, do t\u00eb thoshte q\u00eb un\u00eb t\u00eb shpalosja para f\u00ebmij\u00ebve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb gjith\u00eb p\u00ebr\u00e7mim se prind\u00ebrit e mi ishin besimtar\u00eb t\u00eb verbuar dhe nuk u b\u00ebnte zemra t\u00eb bashkoheshin me fjal\u00ebn e Partis\u00eb. Me fjal\u00eb t\u00eb tjera, e kishin trurin t\u00eb mpir\u00eb nga opiumi fetar. Un\u00eb nuk isha n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb pohoja me zem\u00ebr n\u00eb dor\u00eb se prind\u00ebrit e mi ishin nj\u00ebmend besimtar\u00eb t\u00eb devotsh\u00ebm. E dija se n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb ton\u00eb kremtoheshin t\u00eb gjitha festat fetare, ca nga t\u00eb cilat, si\u00e7 kam m\u00ebsuar m\u00eb von\u00eb, nuk kishin lidhje me islamin si, bie fjala, Sh\u00ebn Gjergji, Sh\u00ebn Kolli e ndonj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. N\u00eb betimet e pathyeshme t\u00eb gjysh\u00ebrve dhe t\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs time hynte edhe \u201cP\u00ebr em\u00ebr t\u00eb Zotit\u201d. Nuk gatuhej kurr\u00eb mishi i derrit.<\/p>\n

Por kaq nuk i mjaftonte mendjes time prej f\u00ebmije t\u00eb shprehej me siguri se prind\u00ebrit e mi ishin besimtar\u00eb t\u00eb verb\u00ebr. N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb kisha edhe nj\u00eb penges\u00eb e pakap\u00ebrcyeshme p\u00ebr ta pranuar nj\u00eb cil\u00ebsim t\u00eb till\u00eb. Sipas \u201cfjal\u00ebs s\u00eb Partis\u00eb\u201d, besimtar\u00ebt e verb\u00ebr ishin njer\u00ebz injorant\u00eb. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb babai im ishte nd\u00ebr burrat m\u00eb t\u00eb shkolluar t\u00eb krahin\u00ebs ton\u00eb. P\u00ebr gjyshin nuk e dija sa shkoll\u00eb kishte kryer, por e shihja me syt\u00eb e mi se ai pjes\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb dit\u00ebs e kalonte duke lexuar. Gjyshja dhe n\u00ebna ishin m\u00eb larg bot\u00ebs s\u00eb dijes, por as ato nuk m\u00eb dukeshin aspak injorante. Isha i vendosur t\u00eb mos e posht\u00ebroja familjen time sikur edhe n\u00eb zjarr t\u00eb ma fusnin kok\u00ebn.<\/p>\n

Mbetej vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi e dyt\u00eb: t\u00eb pranoja se t\u00eb m\u00ebdhenjt\u00eb e familjes time ishin t\u00eb lidhur me armikun e jasht\u00ebm. Na ishte th\u00ebn\u00eb e p\u00ebrs\u00ebritur se feja, qoft\u00eb ajo e Krishtit e qoft\u00eb ajo e Muhametit, ishin ngulitur me p\u00ebrdhun\u00eb nd\u00ebr trojet shqiptare nga pushtuesit e huaj. Ky ishte nj\u00eb spekullim shum\u00eb i rafinuar nga ana e makin\u00ebs propagandistike t\u00eb regjimit. Vite m\u00eb von\u00eb, p\u00ebr interesat e mia letrare i kam studjuar me vemendje botimet e asaj periudhe. N\u00eb fjalimet e Enver Hoxh\u00ebs e p\u00ebr rrjedhim n\u00eb mij\u00ebra faqe shkruar nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, nuk gjendet asgj\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u2019i p\u00ebrngjante sadopak nj\u00eb debati publik, qoft\u00eb ky edhe debat midis ateist\u00ebve dhe teolog\u00ebve.<\/p>\n

Ateizmi shpallet si ideologji zyrtare e vetme dhe n\u00eb em\u00ebr t\u00eb tij p\u00ebrdoren instrumenta t\u00eb dhunshme p\u00ebr asgj\u00ebsimin e kund\u00ebrshtar\u00ebve, kristian\u00eb apo mysliman\u00eb. Enver Hoxha shmangu q\u00ebllimisht polemikat mbi p\u00ebrmbajtjen e dogm\u00ebs s\u00eb nj\u00ebr\u00ebs apo tjetr\u00ebs fe. Si bir i nj\u00eb mullai, ai me siguri e dinte mir\u00eb se nuk mund ta \u00e7\u2019rr\u00ebnjoste besimin nga kokat e shqiptar\u00ebve duke p\u00ebrdorur logjik\u00ebn, filozofin\u00eb apo moralin. Vendimin e vet, nj\u00eb vendim t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht politik, ai e justifikon duke t\u00ebrhequr krejt vemendjen mbi disa element\u00eb historik\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk kishin asnj\u00eb lidhje me mesazhin e Krishtit apo t\u00eb Muhametit. Ai u p\u00ebrq\u00ebndrua n\u00eb kontekstin historik kur kishin lindur k\u00ebto dy fe.<\/p>\n

Perandoria romake n\u00eb fillim e pastaj perandoria osmane, ku kishin b\u00ebr\u00eb pjes\u00eb trojet shqiptare n\u00eb k\u00ebto periudha suksesive t\u00eb antikitetit e t\u00eb mesjet\u00ebs jepnin fakte t\u00eb mjaftueshme p\u00ebr t\u2019u kujtuar si pushtues t\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00ebve t\u00eb tan\u00eb. Spekullimi i propagand\u00ebs zyrtare q\u00ebndronte te identifikimi i misionar\u00ebve t\u00eb fes\u00eb si trash\u00ebgimtar\u00eb t\u00eb ushtrive pushtuese p\u00ebr t\u00eb arritur n\u00eb p\u00ebrfundimin se k\u00ebto fe ishin mish i huaj n\u00eb karakterin komb\u00ebtar t\u00eb shqiptarit dhe si t\u00eb tilla duheshin \u00e7\u2019rr\u00ebnjosur n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet nj\u00eb operacioni kirurgjikal radikal. Enver Hoxha shpallte si objektivin e vet madhor pastrimin p\u00ebrfundimtar t\u00eb identitetit t\u00eb shqiptarit, duke synuar n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb nj\u00eb tabula rasa t\u00eb trurit t\u00eb shqiptarit, q\u00eb do t\u00eb thoshte as m\u00eb shum\u00eb e as m\u00eb pak ve\u00e7 nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgatitje klinike e shqiptarit p\u00ebr t\u00eb hyr\u00eb lirisht n\u00eb kall\u00ebpin e njeriut t\u00eb ri.Pot\u2019i referohemi edhe teoris\u00eb leniniste p\u00ebr revolucionin komunist, njeriu i ri nuk ka identitet komb\u00ebtar.<\/p>\n

Kushdo e mbronte n\u00eb ato rrethana tmerr\u00ebsisht dramatike dhe t\u00eb nd\u00ebrlikuara njeriun shqiptar nga shp\u00eblarja e trurit?<\/em><\/p>\n

Misionar\u00ebt e fes\u00eb, si trash\u00ebgimtar\u00eb t\u00eb ushtrive pushtuese, duhej detyrimisht t\u00eb ishin n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim t\u00eb armiqve t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm. P\u00ebr ta vazhduar historin\u00eb time, mua m\u00eb mbetej pra vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi e dyt\u00eb: t\u00eb pranoja se t\u00eb m\u00ebdhenjt\u00eb e familjes time nuk merrnin pjes\u00eb n\u00eb vepr\u00ebn \u00e7liruese t\u00eb Partis\u00eb sepse b\u00ebnin me q\u00ebllim pun\u00ebn e armikut t\u00eb jasht\u00ebm. Rrjedhimisht, ata nuk mund t\u00eb quheshin ndryshe ve\u00e7se tradh\u00ebtar\u00eb t\u00eb atdheut. Un\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb pranoja t\u00eb ma shkulnin zemr\u00ebn me dar\u00eb se sa q\u00eb prind\u00ebrit e mi t\u00eb ishin tradh\u00ebtar\u00eb t\u00eb atdheut. Isha n\u00eb hall t\u00eb madh si t\u00eb shp\u00ebtoja pa i denoncuar prind\u00ebrit e mi si\u00e7 do t\u00eb ma k\u00ebrkonte m\u00ebsuesja n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet urdh\u00ebrit p\u00ebr t\u2019u treguar i sinqert\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Dy-tri dit\u00ebt e para, ma thot\u00eb mendja rast\u00ebsisht, gishti i m\u00ebsueses nuk u drejtua nga un\u00eb. Por un\u00eb isha gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs me gjak t\u00eb ngrir\u00eb. Nj\u00eb m\u00ebngjes u ngrita nga shtrati i vendosur t\u00eb mos shkoja n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb. Jam i s\u00ebmur\u00eb, i thash\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00ebs, pa guxuar t\u2019i pohoja t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn. Dhe ajo b\u00ebri sikur m\u00eb besoi, madje pa m\u00eb pyetur fare ku m\u00eb dhimbte. Nuk m\u00eb \u00e7oi sigurisht as te mjeku. Dhe nuk tregoi asnj\u00eb kujdes t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb, si\u00e7 do t\u00eb kishte treguar po t\u00eb kishte menduar se isha v\u00ebrtet i s\u00ebmur\u00eb. Gjyshi me gjyshen po ashtu nuk b\u00ebn\u00eb z\u00eb. As un\u00eb nuk u ankova e as nuk vazhdova t\u00eb shtirem sikur po vuaja. Ishte si nj\u00eb marr\u00ebveshje e heshtur mes nesh. E mjaftueshme. Nuk shkova n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb jav\u00ebs, sa nisi t\u00eb qet\u00ebsohet disi fushata e luft\u00ebs kund\u00ebr fes\u00eb. Puna e madhe mbaroi. Kishat e xhamit\u00eb u dogj\u00ebn e u rrafshuan deri n\u00eb themel n\u00eb mbar\u00eb krahin\u00ebn dhe nuk mbeti m\u00eb klerik p\u00ebr t\u2019u shfaqur mbi faqe t\u00eb dheut ton\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Me sa mbaj mend, ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb hera e par\u00eb q\u00eb kam g\u00ebnjyer dhe, p\u00ebr m\u00eb keq, kam g\u00ebnjyer me mir\u00ebkuptimin e pashpallur t\u00eb prind\u00ebrve. Them se arsyeja kryesore pse u detyrova t\u00eb g\u00ebnjeja lidhet me p\u00ebrplasjen e papajtueshme mes asaj \u00e7ka mendoja un\u00eb se ishte sinqeritet n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjen q\u00eb do t\u2019i kisha dh\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00ebsueses dhe asaj \u00e7ka m\u00ebsuesja quante sinqeritet n\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjen q\u00eb priste prej meje.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb rrethana t\u00eb tilla, ishte e qart\u00eb se o do t\u00eb g\u00ebnjeja veten, duke u hequr si i s\u00ebmur\u00eb, o m\u00ebsuesen duke denoncuar prind\u00ebrit e mi si tradh\u00ebtar\u00eb t\u00eb atdheut. Me at\u00eb mendjen time t\u00eb torturuar nga ankthi nuk isha n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb gjeja nj\u00eb rrug\u00eb t\u00eb tret\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019i shp\u00ebtuar g\u00ebnjeshtr\u00ebs. N\u00ebna ime thoshte se gabimin e fal jo vet\u00ebm robi por edhe Zoti. G\u00ebnjeshtr\u00ebn jo. Refleksi i k\u00ebsaj edukate m\u00eb tha se, duke g\u00ebnjyer veten, un\u00eb t\u00eb n\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb po b\u00ebja vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb gabim. Mir\u00ebkuptimi i heshtur q\u00eb gjeta menj\u00ebher\u00eb te prind\u00ebrit ma p\u00ebrforcoi bindjen se po b\u00ebja v\u00ebrtet vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb gabim, t\u00eb cilin ata t\u00eb par\u00ebt, dometh\u00ebn\u00eb prind\u00ebrit, po ma falnin. Ishte nj\u00eb leht\u00ebsim i \u00e7muesh\u00ebm p\u00ebr nd\u00ebrgjegjen time t\u00eb trazuar.<\/p>\n

Vite m\u00eb von\u00eb, kur isha aft\u00ebsuar tashm\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019i analizuar gj\u00ebrat, jam siguruar plot\u00ebsisht se kisha b\u00ebr\u00eb zgjedhjen m\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrshtatshme. Gjyshja ime ka q\u00ebn\u00eb e vetmja n\u00eb trungun ton\u00eb q\u00eb ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb shpjegim me z\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebto lloj shmangiesh t\u00eb pjes\u00ebtar\u00ebve t\u00eb familjes time nga ngjarjet ekzaltuese sajuar nga regjimi i koh\u00ebs p\u00ebr ta p\u00ebrfshir\u00eb n\u00eb faj gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzin\u00eb, me t\u00eb madh e t\u00eb vog\u00ebl. Na ka ndihmuar Zoti t\u00eb ruajm\u00eb veten, thoshte ajo. I qofshin fal\u00eb! Gjyshi, n\u00ebna apo babai nuk i komentonin kurr\u00eb monologjet e saj dhe un\u00eb, gjat\u00eb rritjes time, nuk e kam marr\u00eb ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb vesh n\u00ebse edhe ata mendonin po ashtu si ajo.<\/p>\n

Por kjo holl\u00ebsi nuk ka asnj\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi p\u00ebr historin\u00eb. Gjyshja ime, \u2013 me siguri edhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb si ajo, \u2013 e shihte k\u00ebrdin\u00eb q\u00eb po zhvillohej n\u00ebp\u00ebr rrug\u00eb e sheshe si nj\u00eb molepsje, nga e cila mund t\u00eb mbroheshe vet\u00ebm me ndihm\u00ebn e nj\u00eb fuqie mbinjer\u00ebzore. P\u00ebrsa m\u00eb p\u00ebrket mua, asokohe, doemos q\u00eb nuk kisha asnj\u00eb gjykim p\u00ebr p\u00ebrfitimet q\u00eb do t\u00eb kishte regjimi duke e shtyr\u00eb nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb sajonte gjith\u00eb ato akuza kund\u00ebr t\u00eb m\u00ebdhenjve t\u00eb familjes s\u00eb vet. Po t\u00eb shprehesha p\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast me fjal\u00ebt e gjyshes time, do t\u00eb m\u00eb duhej t\u00eb thosha se Zoti m\u00eb ruajti pa hyr\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb loj\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb kishte q\u00ebn\u00eb shum\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb ardhmen m\u00eb s\u00eb pari p\u00ebr vet\u00eb mua.<\/p>\n

Jo thjesht pse do i posht\u00ebroja prind\u00ebrit faqe shok\u00ebve t\u00eb mi e rrjedhimisht faqe gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzis\u00eb. N\u00eb retrospektiv\u00eb p\u00ebrfytyrohen pa zor t\u00eb madh pasojat q\u00eb do t\u00eb binin mbi ta si \u201carmiq\u201d. Bashk\u00eb me ta, n\u00eb thesin q\u00eb do t\u00eb merrte rrokullim\u00ebn, do t\u00eb ishim patjet\u00ebr edhe un\u00eb e dy v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit e mi m\u00eb t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl. Un\u00eb nuk kam parasysh as edhe k\u00ebto pasoja kur vler\u00ebsoj tani se ajo loj\u00eb do t\u00eb kishte q\u00ebn\u00eb tep\u00ebr e r\u00ebnd\u00eb m\u00eb s\u00eb pari p\u00ebr vet\u00eb karakterin tim. Qysh nga ai \u00e7ast un\u00eb nuk do ta dija m\u00eb kurr\u00eb me sakt\u00ebsi \u00e7\u2019lidhje kishte midis sinqeritetit dhe t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs. Ky do t\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb deformim me ndikim ndoshta t\u00eb pash\u00ebruesh\u00ebm n\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet q\u00eb f\u00ebmija i asaj kohe do t\u00eb kishte n\u00eb vazhdim me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt edhe kur t\u00eb rritej.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb familjen ton\u00eb myslimane prej gjasht\u00eb brezash, vet\u00ebm gjyshja ishte aq besimtare sa ta zbatonte n\u00eb p\u00ebrditshm\u00ebri besimin e vet. Gjat\u00eb atyre dit\u00ebve t\u00eb rr\u00ebnimit t\u00eb kishave dhe xhamive, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht ajo ishte b\u00ebr\u00eb si e nd\u00ebrkryer. Por, ashtu si t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, as ajo nuk fliste shum\u00eb. Vet\u00ebm shkonte nga nj\u00eb dhom\u00eb n\u00eb tjetr\u00ebn duke m\u00ebrm\u00ebritur me vete:\u201dNuk b\u00ebn shqiptari k\u00ebshtu. Nuk b\u00ebn shqiptari k\u00ebshtu.\u201d Pastaj ulej n\u00eb nj\u00eb qosh t\u00eb minderit, mbyllte syt\u00eb dhe vazhdonte t\u00eb m\u00ebrm\u00ebriste me majat e buz\u00ebve si n\u00eb nj\u00eb kllapi. Mendja m\u00eb thot\u00eb se lutej. M\u00eb von\u00eb e kam d\u00ebgjuar disa her\u00eb t\u2019i shprehte n\u00ebn\u00ebs time breng\u00ebn e vet t\u00eb pangush\u00ebllueshme, t\u00eb mbir\u00eb n\u00eb shpirtin e saj t\u00eb lodhur pik\u00ebrisht gjat\u00eb dit\u00ebve t\u00eb asaj bat\u00ebrdie: do t\u00eb vdiste pa e mbajtur edhe nj\u00ebher\u00eb ramazanin.<\/p>\n

Ishte nj\u00eb breng\u00eb q\u00eb ia dinin edhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb n\u00eb lagje e m\u00eb gjer\u00eb. Ajo nuk e fshehu kurr\u00eb q\u00eb besonte n\u00eb Zot. Por ramazanin nuk guxonte ta mbante. Kam frik\u00eb se i b\u00ebj d\u00ebm djalit, thoshte me k\u00ebdo kur i binte fjala. Babai im ishte djali i saj i vet\u00ebm. Frika e saj kishte arsyet e veta. I kishte q\u00eblluar shum\u00eb her\u00eb gjat\u00eb periudh\u00ebs s\u00eb ramazanit ta provokonin duke e shtyr\u00eb t\u00eb pinte kafe jo vet\u00ebm n\u00eb sht\u00ebpit\u00eb e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, ku mund t\u00eb q\u00ebllonte p\u00ebr vizit\u00eb, por edhe brenda n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e saj. \u201cVizitor\u00eb\u201d t\u00eb ardhur q\u00ebllimisht p\u00ebr t\u00eb verifikuar, kur shihnin se ajo e merrte pa ngurrim kafen\u00eb, e pyesnin si me \u00e7udi pse po e prishte agj\u00ebrimin.<\/p>\n

-Nuk e mbaj m\u00eb qysh se u ndaluan pun\u00ebt e Zotit,- u p\u00ebrgjigjej ajo me pak z\u00eb e duke rr\u00ebzuar syt\u00eb, si njeri i z\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb faj. Fytyra e saj mb\u00ebshtillej me nj\u00eb pik\u00ebllim naiv. \u2013 Kam frik\u00eb se i b\u00ebj d\u00ebm djalit, \u2013 shtonte p\u00ebrmes nj\u00eb ofshame.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb vitin 1984 isha vendosur tashm\u00eb me pun\u00eb si gazetar n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb. Bashk\u00eb me gruan dhe djalin e sapolindur shkuam n\u00eb vendlindjen time t\u00eb festonim me familjen vitin e ri. N\u00eb nj\u00eb nga bisedat q\u00eb pata me gjyshen,- gjyshi kishte vdekur nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb- e ftova t\u00eb vinte tek un\u00eb n\u00eb periudh\u00ebn e ramazanit. Aty do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb agj\u00ebronte lirisht. Gjyshja, ndjes\u00eb past\u00eb, m\u00eb p\u00ebrfshiu me nj\u00eb v\u00ebshtrim t\u00eb pap\u00ebrcaktuesh\u00ebm. Ajo heshti nj\u00eb \u00e7ast pa m\u2019i shqitur syt\u00eb sikur po m\u00eb hetonte, pastaj m\u00eb drejtoi pyetjen m\u00eb t\u00eb papritur:<\/p>\n

– A jeni me Enverin ju atje n\u00eb Tiran\u00eb?<\/p>\n

– L\u00ebre Enverin n\u00eb pun\u00eb t\u00eb vet!- iu shmanga un\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjes.- Ti n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb time do t\u00eb mbash ramazanin. Kjo t\u00eb duhet ty.<\/p>\n

Ajo i dha vetes nj\u00eb grim\u00eb koh\u00eb, q\u00eb nuk ishte koh\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u menduar para se t\u00eb merrte vendimin. Ishte nj\u00eb koh\u00eb e nevojshme p\u00ebr t\u2019u siguruar se m\u00eb kishte d\u00ebgjuar mir\u00eb. Ose ishte nj\u00eb koh\u00eb q\u00eb ajo ia dha vetes p\u00ebr t\u00eb shijuar nj\u00eb g\u00ebzim t\u00eb pashpresuar. Fytyra e saj zuri t\u00eb \u00e7elet, t\u00eb mbushet me drit\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrs\u00ebri m\u00eb befasoi.<\/p>\n

– Jo, – tha, – nuk vij. Do t\u00eb pres dit\u00ebn t\u00eb agj\u00ebroj n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb time.<\/p>\n

Dreqin s\u2019e poll\u00ebm ne k\u00ebtu, na e d\u00ebrguan nga Tirana. \u2013 Kishte folur rrept\u00eb, aq sa iu mbarua fryma. \u2013 Juve atje u paska dal\u00eb frika, Zot shyqyr! Nuk do t\u00eb vonoj\u00eb e kjo dallg\u00eb e mir\u00eb do t\u00eb vij\u00eb deri k\u00ebtu. Do ta pres,- theksoi plot vendosm\u00ebri,- nuk do t\u00eb vdes pa mb\u00ebrritur kjo dallg\u00eb e bekuar edhe k\u00ebtu.<\/p>\n

Tet\u00eb vjet m\u00eb von\u00eb, n\u00eb mars 1992, diktatura kishte r\u00ebn\u00eb tashm\u00eb dhe un\u00eb kthehesha n\u00eb vendlindje si kandidat i Partis\u00eb Demokratike n\u00eb zgjedhjet parlamentare. Dit\u00ebn e votimeve gjyshja nuk pranoi ta shoq\u00ebronte askush n\u00eb dhom\u00ebn e fsheht\u00eb, ve\u00e7 meje. Ajo ishte analfabete dhe duhej ndihmuar t\u00eb votonte. Si\u00e7 e pohoi pa ndonj\u00eb bezdi faqe babait tim dhe v\u00ebllez\u00ebrve t\u00eb mi, ma kishte borxh vot\u00ebn dhe donte t\u00eb ma lante borxhin me dor\u00ebn time. Ishte e kot\u00eb t\u2019i thosha se n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb un\u00eb i kisha asaj nj\u00eb borxh t\u00eb madh.<\/p>\n

Kjo histori e f\u00ebmij\u00ebris\u00eb m\u00eb ka ndjekur si nj\u00eb parabol\u00eb p\u00ebr m\u00eb shum\u00eb se dyzet vjet dhe ka patur mbi mua, sidomos gjat\u00eb rinis\u00eb, ndikimin e nj\u00eb antidote kund\u00ebr edukimit zyrtar, q\u00eb isha i detyruar t\u00eb merrja, si gjith\u00eb moshatar\u00ebt e mi. Disa nga dyshimet e mija, q\u00eb do t\u00eb m\u00eb shtynin m\u00eb von\u00eb drejt vendimesh substanciale p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn time, e kan\u00eb zanafill\u00ebn pik\u00ebrisht te vuajtja ime e turbullt e atyre jav\u00ebve, si\u00e7 mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb e turbullt vuajtja e nj\u00eb t\u00eb vogli, i cili nuk arrin dot ta kuptoj\u00eb sado q\u00eb ta shtrydh\u00eb trurin, pse sinqeriteti merr dy kuptime krejt t\u00eb kund\u00ebrta dhe madje pa shpres\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u pajtuar ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb, nj\u00ebrin brenda n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, ku isha \u201cbiri\u201d e tjetri jasht\u00eb saj, atje ku isha \u201cnx\u00ebn\u00ebsi\u201d. Gjyshja ime ka nd\u00ebrruar jet\u00eb tashm\u00eb. Ajo arriti t\u00eb agj\u00ebronte tremb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb her\u00eb para se t\u00eb mbyllte syt\u00eb e lumtur. Por e di se, po t\u00eb mundej t\u00eb nd\u00ebrhynte n\u00eb p\u00ebrsiatjet e mia tani, do t\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebriste pa asnj\u00eb m\u00ebdyshje se \u201cZoti e ndihmoi birin t\u00eb fitonte mbi nx\u00ebn\u00ebsin\u201d.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nga Besnik Mustafaj Ende s\u2019i kisha mbushur n\u00ebnt\u00eb vjet, kur regjimi i koh\u00ebs, i quajturi pushtet i popullit, e shpalli zyrtarisht Shqip\u00ebrin\u00eb vend ateist dhe ndaloi me ligj \u00e7do form\u00eb t\u00eb ushtrimit t\u00eb fes\u00eb. Besimi n\u00eb Zot u p\u00ebrcaktua si \u201copium p\u00ebr popullin\u201d dhe u shpall armik komb\u00ebtar. Kishat dhe xhamit\u00eb u rrafshuan, librat fetar\u00eb […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-11463","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-artikuj"},"yoast_head":"\nFeja, Enver Hoxha dhe nj\u00eb histori familjare - FjALA e LIR\u00cb - Arkivi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/fjala.info\/2009-2015\/feja-enver-hoxha-dhe-nje-histori-familjare\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"sq_AL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Feja, Enver Hoxha dhe nj\u00eb histori familjare - FjALA e LIR\u00cb - Arkivi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Nga Besnik Mustafaj Ende s\u2019i kisha mbushur n\u00ebnt\u00eb vjet, kur regjimi i koh\u00ebs, i quajturi pushtet i popullit, e shpalli zyrtarisht Shqip\u00ebrin\u00eb vend ateist dhe ndaloi me ligj \u00e7do form\u00eb t\u00eb ushtrimit t\u00eb fes\u00eb. Besimi n\u00eb Zot u p\u00ebrcaktua si \u201copium p\u00ebr popullin\u201d dhe u shpall armik komb\u00ebtar. 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